?

Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Sedoka - a Poetry Friday post

This month, my poetry sisters and I are posting original sedoka. What's that? You never heard of those before? I hadn't either. I highly recommend this description of them and their history over at Kujaku Poetry & Ships, the blog of poet M. Kei.

A short poem of three lines, with (roughly translated) 5-7-7 syllables each, is called a katuata. Two katuata together, especially when related but exploring different aspects of something, form a sedoka. Each of the katuata ought to be able to stand alone, but form something more when combined. Interestingly, katuata is a form that is older than haiku by at least a thousand years. Funny that it's been eclipsed by the "newcomer", but perhaps that is the way of things.

Here is mine, which is based on Kismet, who you can see sleeping in the photo to the right.

small calico cat
never allowed out of doors
watches the world through windows
the wind gusts outside
brown leaves swirl on the back porch
cat stalks through glass, tail twitching

Here are the links for my lovely princess partners:

Sara Lewis Holmes at Read Write Believe
Laura Purdie Salas at Writing the World for Kids
Tanita Davis at [fiction, instead of lies]
Andi Jazmon at A Wrung Sponge and hey - it's nearly her 10-year blogiversary
Liz Garton Scanlon at Liz in Ink
Tricia Stohr-Hunt at The Miss Rumphius Effect

You can find other Poetry Friday posts by clicking the box below.





Site Meter

Comments

( 22 comments — Leave a comment )
Tricia Stohr-Hunt
Mar. 4th, 2016 01:55 pm (UTC)
I love the transition from inside to outside. And I think you've captured the whole notion of two poems that stand alone but can hang together nicely. Like so many of the short forms, I found this tough, but you've made it look easy. Nicely done!
kellyrfineman
Mar. 4th, 2016 05:23 pm (UTC)
I really like this form, and plan on playing with it more!
Andi Sibley
Mar. 4th, 2016 03:31 pm (UTC)
Darling picture of Kismet. And your poem is also a darling picture; I can see that cat pacing clearly. "Cat stalks through glass" is close enough to "stalks through grass" that I have to do a double take. Wonderful word choice!
kellyrfineman
Mar. 4th, 2016 05:23 pm (UTC)
Hooray for double-takes! Thanks, Andi!
Sara Lewis Holmes
Mar. 4th, 2016 03:34 pm (UTC)
I agree with Tricia---you did make it look easy! Maybe you should write lots and lots of these. :) Also, it's possible that the sedoka is the official poem of all cats, who always shift comfortably from one perch to the next with grace.
kellyrfineman
Mar. 4th, 2016 05:24 pm (UTC)
This form may be for me what the etheree (I think it was) was for Liz - I really like this one!
TS Davis
Mar. 4th, 2016 03:55 pm (UTC)
Little cat paws: not just for fog anymore
"Cat stalks through glass" is probably one of the most mournful but most realistic of house cat experiences, isn't it? They're always staring out fixedly, imagining world domination, despite being tiny and having wee claws. I like this poem tremendously.

I also love that quote; it's the reason there's no organized cat religions... the organization part... no.
kellyrfineman
Mar. 4th, 2016 05:26 pm (UTC)
Re: Little cat paws: not just for fog anymore
"Not just for fog anymore" made me laugh. I think Bastet was worshiped as an organized religion, right?

She really gets worked up looking out the sliding glass door at leaves and bits of chaff. Last week, she got yowly/growly for the first time EVER because she saw another cat outside. I was surprised she knew how to tell it off (not that it could hear her through the glass), but she did.
lpsalas
Mar. 4th, 2016 04:36 pm (UTC)
From Laura (don't know why it doesn't pick up my G+ avatar, etc.)
Kelly, I love your two cats...the contrast does indeed add up to more than each of them separately. Lovely.
kellyrfineman
Mar. 4th, 2016 05:27 pm (UTC)
Re: From Laura (don't know why it doesn't pick up my G+ avatar, etc.)
I don't know why LJ hates you these days. But I'm glad you like the poem!
Liz Garton Scanlon
Mar. 4th, 2016 05:55 pm (UTC)
This is the perfect use of this form,, I think, the flipped stories happening on opposite sides of the glass. It's lovely and SO IS KISMET'S PAW!!!
kellyrfineman
Mar. 4th, 2016 10:23 pm (UTC)
I love her little paw pads. And thanks for your kind comments!
Linda Baie
Mar. 5th, 2016 05:21 pm (UTC)
I've loved each one of these, Kelly, from all the 'sisters'. This holds a different look at the confinement, doesn't it? We place our own feelings on animals, but it seems as if your calico is yearning just a bit.
kellyrfineman
Mar. 10th, 2016 06:06 pm (UTC)
While we do sometimes project ourselves onto our pets, it's also pretty easy to "read" them - when they are happy or angry, say. She definitely enjoys "chasing" things, and loves watching the dried bits of long grass or dead leaves as they move around out back (also squirrels, birds,and bunnies, but NOT other cats, which get her really upset). Not sure she really wants to be outside, but she loves the "hunt".
Donna Smith
Mar. 5th, 2016 10:27 pm (UTC)
Noah likes this, too.
My cat is indoors also, having been an outdoor cat before his "rescue". So "cat stalks through glass" is just perfectly placed there. I read it first as "grass" and had to go back and read it again! Perfect play on words.
http://mainelywrite.blogspot.com/2016/03/for-noah-about-noah-to-noah.html
kellyrfineman
Mar. 10th, 2016 06:17 pm (UTC)
Re: Noah likes this, too.
Thanks, Donna! And Kismet was found along the side of the road as a kitten (trying to get hit, it appeared), so she was outdoors once too, but never again. Love Noah's name!
Mary Lee Hahn
Mar. 6th, 2016 10:56 am (UTC)
Perfect subject choice for a KAT-uata!! Meow.
kellyrfineman
Mar. 10th, 2016 06:06 pm (UTC)
You are so clever, Mary Lee!!

Hope you are feeling better, and have a restful weekend planned!
angeladegroot
Mar. 7th, 2016 05:59 pm (UTC)
Such pretty kitty feet - I'm stifling the urge to tickle them.
kellyrfineman
Mar. 10th, 2016 06:15 pm (UTC)
Kismet says there's no need to stifle that urge. Come down here and tickle them, she says.
angeladegroot
Mar. 7th, 2016 06:02 pm (UTC)
Very clever final line. Nicely done, all round.
kellyrfineman
Mar. 10th, 2016 06:15 pm (UTC)
Thanks - I like this form. I am guessing you will, too.
( 22 comments — Leave a comment )

Latest Month

July 2017
S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031     

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com