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On bangability

I found this List of 111 Male Characters of British Literature in Order of Bangability yesterday, and, well, how could I not share it with you?

First of all, there's the word "bangability", which will never, ever stop cracking me up.

Secondly, well, there are quite a few Austen men on the list, although (extremely curiously) Mr Knightley from Emma is not on there. Neither is Henry Tilney from Northanger Abbey. I find this incredibly curious when one considers that Edmund Bertram from Mansfield Park and Edward Ferrars from Sense and Sensibility are both on the list, and neither of them are nearly as hot as . (I completely understand why Henry Crawford (MP) and Willoughby (S&S) made the list - who doesn't love a sexy bad boy?) Other Austen men on the list include Colonel Brandon from Sense & Sesnsibility, Messrs Bingley and Darcy from Pride & Prejudice, and Captain Wentworth from Persuasion.

Thirdly, there are some completely wacky choices on this list. Frankenstein's monster makes the list (at #111, but still!). And Willy Wonka is deemed more bangable than Thorin Oakenshield (The Hobbit), which just seems wrong to me. Also, sticking with Lord of the Rings, who on earth thought that Tom Bombadil (21) was more bangable than Legolas? (Heck, he's deemed more bangable than James Bond - SAY WHAT?) Crazycakes. And from the wizarding world of Harry Potter, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape and Sirius Black made the list - and that's in order from least to most bangable, which means that greasy Snape was deemed sexier than Lupin. In fact, Snape is deemed more bangable than Legolas. Completely wrong. Also, Dumbledore didn't make the list at all - weird.

Finally, this list puts Mr Rochester in first place. Is that before or after the burns? And how is he more bangable than Aragorn. Or, for that matter, Agent 007?

Still, lots to love about this list.

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( 32 comments — Leave a comment )
elfstar18
May. 5th, 2011 01:46 am (UTC)
Ok, Snape? Kind of bangably delicious. He might even be my number one (followed closely by Legolas).
kellyrfineman
May. 5th, 2011 01:55 am (UTC)
Heh. I don't see Snape as sexy at all.

Still, Legolas should be much higher than #45 on the list.
(no subject) - elfstar18 - May. 5th, 2011 01:59 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kellyrfineman - May. 5th, 2011 02:12 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - nottygypsy - May. 5th, 2011 03:14 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kellyrfineman - May. 5th, 2011 06:04 am (UTC) - Expand
elfstar18
May. 5th, 2011 01:58 am (UTC)
Ranting! Sorry!
The more I look at this list, the more it hurts my brain! Bertie Wooster ranks, but not Jeeves? Dumb has to be REALLY cute to be bangable, and I don't ever remember Wooster being described as that cute. And you know Jeeves would... you know... know things. About women.

Lancelot ranks over Arthur???

M. Héger was a REAL PERSON. The character said to be based on him in Villette is named Paul Emanuel. (And regardless of where the book went, I never stopped carrying a torch for Dr. John.)

Also, ASLAN???

I have to lie down and cry now.
kellyrfineman
May. 5th, 2011 02:09 am (UTC)
Re: Ranting! Sorry!
Yeah - Aslan is on the list (bestiality is a-okay with the list-maker), but Mr Knightley is MIA. Of course, Peter Pan (eternal boy) is on the list. Weird. And Orlando isn't always male, if memory serves. And King Lear is not bangable. At all. Othello? Yes. Benedick? Definitely - but he didn't make the list!
Re: Ranting! Sorry! - elfstar18 - May. 5th, 2011 02:15 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Ranting! Sorry! - kellyrfineman - May. 5th, 2011 02:42 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Ranting! Sorry! - saralholmes - May. 5th, 2011 06:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Ranting! Sorry! - kellyrfineman - May. 5th, 2011 08:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
angeladegroot
May. 5th, 2011 02:05 am (UTC)
A list of bangables - I like it. I also like that your song is on your brain.
kellyrfineman
May. 5th, 2011 02:11 am (UTC)
I knew you'd like the word bangability. And the idea of the list. Thanks for noticing the song choice.
willowgreen
May. 5th, 2011 03:26 am (UTC)
I totally agree with you on all points. Snape, bangable? No, not even as played by Alan Rickman.

However, here's an idea for a new game: Austen hero shag-marry-throw off a cliff! Here's mine:
Shag -- Darcy, yum.
Marry -- Captain Wentworth: hot, smart, sweet, and in for the long haul.
Cliff -- Edward Ferrars, that weasel.
kellyrfineman
May. 5th, 2011 06:09 am (UTC)
Ferrars, a weasel? *is aghast*

Hmmm . . . shag, marry, throw off a cliff, eh?

Shag: Henry Tilney. I expect he'd be entertaining and enthusiastic.
Marry: Mr Darcy. Willing to do what it takes to take care of his spouse, but won't take too much crap.
Cliff: Edmund Bertram. Totally blinded by Mary Crawford, only falls for Fanny by default. And I'm not sure he has a sense of humor.
redheadedali
May. 5th, 2011 03:34 am (UTC)
I am indignant on behalf of my Harry Potter boyfriend, Remus Lupin. Hmph.

But I am very much down with Mr. Rochester being number one. I would totally put him ahead of book!Aragorn, who is kind of stodgy, really, though I concede that movie!Aragorn trumps Rochester, even when Rochester is Michael Fassbender.
kellyrfineman
May. 5th, 2011 06:15 am (UTC)
Mr Rochester is indeed steamily intense in the book, whereas Aragorn isn't, so much, until you take into account the apocryphal story of his love for Arwen, which is from an Appendix somewhere. And even then, book!Faramir is sexier - and he didn't make the list at all, to which I say WTF?

I have the following icon in a file, though I've never uploaded it to use as a userpic. It pretty much sums up my feelings about movie Aragorn (who is SMOKING HOT - and I think it's the hottest Viggo Mortenson has ever looked, really - he needs long hair and scruff):

dotificus
May. 5th, 2011 01:47 pm (UTC)
URIAH HEEP! URIAH HEEP! Aaaaaa! My eyes!

Also, Mr. Murdstone? Ick!

Kubla Khan? from Coleridge's poem? That's a weird one.

I agree with you about Mr. K. And 007 should be much higher.
kellyrfineman
May. 5th, 2011 02:30 pm (UTC)
No kidding. I still can't get past Aslan making the list. Say WHAT?
(no subject) - lurban - May. 5th, 2011 06:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kellyrfineman - May. 5th, 2011 08:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
wyckedgood
May. 5th, 2011 07:28 pm (UTC)
Snape
I will take Alan Rickman over Orlando Bloom EVERY day of the week :) I know we are supposed to be talking character off the page but really with cinema being what it is, it is hard to extract the characters from their recent films :)
kellyrfineman
May. 5th, 2011 08:38 pm (UTC)
Re: Snape
I find much to like about both Rickman and Bloom, but would probably take Rickman over Bloom as well. It's his dead sexy voice and ability to be both hilarious (Galaxy Quest, say?) and extremely romantic (Is there anything sexier than his yearning Colonel Brandon?)

Still . . . based on the book, Legolas is sexier than Snape by miles.
Re: Snape - (Anonymous) - May. 6th, 2011 02:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Snape - kellyrfineman - May. 6th, 2011 03:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
wyckedgood
May. 5th, 2011 07:28 pm (UTC)
PS
Bangability is an AWESOME word lol.
kellyrfineman
May. 5th, 2011 08:39 pm (UTC)
Re: PS
I know, right? It's one we should all be using in our daily life. Over on Twitter, Lisha Cauthen mentioned a desire to host a bangability round table. Now if that's not a great conference notion, I don't know what is. (Not that any conference I can think of would go for it, but still . . . )
Re: PS - wyckedgood - May. 6th, 2011 02:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: PS - kellyrfineman - May. 6th, 2011 03:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
( 32 comments — Leave a comment )

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