kellyrfineman (kellyrfineman) wrote,

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Autoimmune-related stuff

Yesterday, I felt pretty energetic in the morning. Mid-afternoon, I got a call from my sweetheart, and nearly jumped out of my skin when my cellphone vibrated and rang. My response clued Morris in that I wasn't quite okay, but I didn't realize just then what was what.

You see, I was working on yesterday's blog post about poetry-related stuff, and was being very focused at the moment. I thought it was just me being startled.

But no. A bit later I got up and figured out I had hit the wall. Dropped all my spoons. Whatever metaphor you prefer, it applied, and I was fatigued.

Rather than fight it, I opted to rest for the remainder of the afternoon and evening, even taking a short nap, which enabled me to heat up dinner for the two of us, at least.

It was one of the first times I can recall being at peace with the fact that I was fatigued, even though it (once again) sneaked up on me and I didn't immediately realize or recognize it.

Today, I deliberately did creative writing stuff in the morning. Took a walk with my sweetheart after lunch, then a nap. And now, I've been using my time to do some more stuff that requires focus and energy, since it's likely I'll lose both again sometime soon.

I am, again, at peace with it. Because I can't lick it, and fighting it is senseless.

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Tags: fibromyalgia, health, rheumatoid arthritis
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